xoxo

xoxo

Little Stint 

Touring the Island at the beginning of February was an incredible growing experience.

Though I have played many of these venues and with many of the musicians in different musical outfits in the past, I experienced them in a new light as time had changed all present elements. In a way, I felt out on my own as a musician for the first time and yet still felt the warm support of the players, listeners and organizers. All of the insecurities came up; I was teaching my songs to new musicians I look up to daily, playing them for new audiences and hoping for a clear transmission of what I had to say, being able to maintain the required openness and vulnerability while still being able to stay on top of business. In any case it's a beautiful thing when my experiences as a musician line up with what i sing about in my songs. Feeling like I don't know what I'm doing and yet naturally, it happens. Going through all of the self doubt, shining different lights on the shadows to see what they can become.

As I go through these experiences openly can begin to feel annoyingly self centered. Then I remember that, while in a big way, all of this work I do for myself, I hope that as I shine a light on myself for others to see they will respond in kind. This never would have started if it weren't for all the folks that let their masks slip without wincing. It would not continue to happen if this expression was not mirrored back. When you allow yourself to be free, you can encourage the freedom of others. This is something that can be done by performers, just as it can be done by the audience and the folks who hold space for it to unfold.

So, infinite thank yous to all who took part; The Vault Cafe, Ronny Bernard & Friends, Rapture Barbers, Chad Pabianek, Amy Muloin, Colby O'niel with Lotus Eater Films, The Cornerstone Cafe, Vinyl Envy, Matthew Adrade, T-Rav The Transformer,  Hannah Snider, Kate Romain, Mama & The Boys and everyone who came out and shared a broad spectrum of times with us.

To me, this has been the grander landscape we were in together. I hope you felt it too.

Until next time, Van Isl, xoxo.

Vanding Together 

The Friendraiser was a heart-bursting success and certainly the most beautiful night I've experienced in a while. We raised over $1100, enough to get our friend back on the road after a complicated accident. The whole thing was an incredible show of music and community. The air was so thick with friend love and we were breathing deep!

When I was preparing to leave Europe last year, I felt the uncertain sadness of wondering what I was coming home to. I had wandered so much of my life and met so many wonderful people but I seldom knew the love of really knowing someone and of feeling known. I was in a place in my life where I felt I really needed help but there was not many people I felt I knew personally enough to ask. The seemingly obvious finally became obvious to me, that if you want deep and meaningful relationships with people, if you want to feel trust with people, you actually have to stick around and put in the work. You have to see people as well as allow yourself to be seen as they/you are and that includes the things you might not like or think they will like so much. Take us as we come and let us go as it needs to happen. The past year has been a vulnerable, confusing and beautiful process of doing this work.

When this car accident happened and one of my dearest friendships was put under a microscope skewed by dollar signs, I was nervous to reach out for help from our community. When I did end up reaching out, I was absolutely dumbfounded by the number of people who immediately stepped up, ready to help however they could! This sense of gratitude soothed the pains of trying to deal with the accident. What was a really tough situation ended up being something really wonderful, a fruitful labor of love and creativity, proof of the profits of keeping our heads up even when it gets tough.

 

We still have some financials to sort out so if you're feeling flush, please donate here.

 

Special Thanks to:

Connor Brookes, Mary Matheson, Jenna Materi, Kayla Gange, Chance, Logan Thackray, Nathan Turner, Joshua Wood, Ronny Bernard, Rusty Tones, Jen Roberts, Brendan Steele, Max Ley, Kenan Sungar, Dave Taylor, Ashton Sweet, Adam Farnsworth, Chelsea Johnson, Janna Dickinson, Dana Kagis, Justin Chingee, Joe Goldes, Tyler Lanny, Cleo Carpenter, Yasmine Gehrmoul, Odell Brown, Ehm & THE MATADOR, Nancy Lanthier, Hobo Woodworks, Big Rock Brewing, Storm Brewing, Jasmine Lidell, The Wise Hall, Isaiah Gall and everyone who came out!!!

 

Join our mailing list for the latest news