Today I listened to a podcast about the positive effects of nostalgia, even nostalgia about unpleasant times, it can us to be grateful for what we have now or to reflect on improvements we could make for the future. It can be useful, it can feel nice, it needs not be reduced to "dwelling in the past".
I was still reeling from a tragically cliche band breakup and the woe of having set my banjo aside for a washboard leaving me feeling at a loss for my musical autonomy. I went to europe, did a lot of dancing but not a lot of singing (short of an underground hip hop open mic run weekly by a couple of New Yorkers). I came home thumbs pressed to find somebody who would identify me as worth making music with until I started listening to a lot of pussy riot and a Noah Walker told me if I wanted to be in a band, all I had to do was book a show and invite whoever I wanted to play... and, well, if it hasn't been a year tomorrow since this Nasti Weather thing really got started. Alongside 'The False Predictions', the name of the band that brews the storm, an often rotating cast of primarily east van performers who I have always admired so much I could hardly believe at first that they wanted to play with me. Each composition of artists turns the songs into different pieces between them and my solo performances and it keeps it alive, keeps it growing.
A lot has happened over the past year, a lot more fancy pant businessing around than I had ever hoped for but this was and is a part of what led to a lot of great shows and inspired new songs. I've been enjoying a nice break from all things planning and performing this past month or so to focus on work and my mental health and it has been good, feeling delightfully human, enjoying just playing for pleasure.
Anyways, to reflect, here's what's happened in a literary nutshell; I'm not looking for anyone to invite me to express myself (so much) anymore, the chickens of that past bandmate that vexed me came home to roost and I realized it meant very little to me... which in of itself was something bigger, I played 3 festivals, I applied for my first grant(and was denied!), I recorded a CD that for the first time in my recording experience I am really excited about, I have worked with my heroes and had hills of fun, I have found myself swelling to fit a role I thought I never wanted (a leader), I have been psychotically depressed to a degree that finally got me to seek dr. help, I am writing songs in ways I used to find inaccessible, I am crafting ways to expand the performances beyond just the music, I am picking my banjo more naturally, I am taking better care of myself, I am so curious and excited to see what we can do with one. more. year.... or so.
What big changes have happened for you in the past year?